


Pumpkin out of the bag

by gwendee



Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alcohol, Alternate Universe, Crack Treated Seriously, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Future Fic, M/M, Marriage Proposal, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:20:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27418657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gwendee/pseuds/gwendee
Summary: Everyone turns to the center of attention - smack dab in the middle of the dance floor, where company CEO Asano Gakushuu has just proposed to financial bureaucrat Akabane Karma."Alright," Akabane says. "Who let him touch the Merlot?"
Relationships: Akabane Karma/Asano Gakushuu
Comments: 83
Kudos: 338





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! It's been... ooh boy, it's been a long while.  
> Friends, I'm alive! I've been super busy lately, you don't even know. But I had a little bit of time to slip away and I missed you all (and Karushuu), so I tapped something short out.

**Assume you get to be sort-of famous and still have secrets**

"Marry me."

"W-what?" The entire room seems to freeze, the background waltz of classical music suddenly so impossibly loud as the chatter of conversation abruptly stops. The regional manager still has her mouth open, her hand frozen in a gesture. The junior publicity director has his cocktail glass halfway up to his mouth. The bartender holds the drink tumbler in mid-shake.

Everyone turns in unison to the center of attention - smack dab in the middle of the dance floor, where company CEO Asano Gakushuu has just proposed to financial bureaucrat Akabane Karma.

\--

Now, current acting CEO Asano Gakushuu, Forbes 30 under 30 when he started out after graduating college and now on Japan's top 50, multimillionaire with a terrifyingly sharp tongue (and with a jawline equally so), is not single. He has a ring on his finger and he has a consistent set of dates he takes leave on for years now regardless of their project lineup which can be inferred to be important dates like anniversaries or birthdays. Despite that, no one actually knows who's on the other side of the relationship. 

There are speculations of course, many so, but Asano keeps his personal life excruciatingly private so much so that one didn't even know where he lived despite how high profile he is. (It took the press four months to realize the "address" that was somehow leaked was a property owned by Asano but not the one he actually resided in.) 

\--

Cue Akabane Karma, who like his fellow colleagues today, are here at this business function to play niceties. Is he single? Is that his natural hair colour? How tall is he? These are questions that nobody knows, because while Akabane is a name most recognize, he's not a public figure. The financial departments of corporations shudder upon his signature in their inbox, and they tender their resignation when his caller id lights up on the company landline. Outside of the terrors of accounting, he's not in the celebrity circuit, so nobody really knows who he is.

His colleagues too know that he's happily married, of whom which Akabane speaks endearingly of. With so many eyes on the high profile status of the party this evening, every second of this incident was sure to leak. 

Oh dear.

\--

And here we have it, Gakushuu Asano swaying on his feet, chin lifted in a defiant and uncharacteristically childish manner, eyes narrowed in a glare that you wouldn't expect to be directed at someone he just proposed to.

Akabane Karma looks… he doesn't look offended. In fact he looks like a strange sort of exasperated, and he looks at Asano the same way you'd look at a friend of yours whose just past the point of tipsy and is tumbling down a bar table. 

(An addendum: there is a glass of wine in Asano's hand. Thing is, Asano doesn't drink. He has never taken so much as of a sip of alcohol at any of the social events he's gone to. People used to praise his discipline and his professionalism. From now onwards, everyone knows that the real reason he never drinks is because he's the world's worst lightweight.)

"Alright," Akabane says, voice louder than usual with the unnatural stillness of an audience watching a stage play. "Who let him touch the Merlot?"

\--

A few things happen in the next few minutes. Asano Gakushuu repeats his question ("Marry me?") and Akabane Karma says, "Listen."

Asano interprets that as the start of a rejection and lets out the saddest sound in the world (in his defense, a reply to any sort of romantic gesture with a "listen" was bound to end in some form of disagreement, but in which case Asano is blessedly saved by the fact that his proposal could hardly count as romantic). 

Akabane says, "stop that," Asano sobs, "-y-you," and Akabane says, "we're already married, stupid." 

And then he herds a now giddy giggling Asano over to the bar and orders for water.

\--

The crowd very unsubtly moves closer to the bar.

"-and this is why you don't drink," Akabane is saying. "God- Shuu- look at me."

Shuu? What an adorable nickname.

"Pretty," their CEO mumbles, and ungracefully smacks his apparently husband in the nose.

"Ow," Akabane says. 

"Karms," Asano says. "Karma."

Akabane sighs, with no low amount of fondness. "That's me."

"Missed you."

A faint smile on Akabane's lips. Now that Accounting knows that he is capable of human emotion like this, he's lost all his bargaining power. 

"You're wasted," Akabane says, softly, endearingly, one hand slowly stroking Asano's hair. And then he whips around and glares at everyone, and the crowd topples three steps back.

\--

Akabane throws back a glass (water). He stands up and slings Asano over his shoulder like a sack of wet flour. The flour giggles.

"Good night, everyone," Akabane nods to the crowd, and traipses towards the exit.

Asano, with arms slung lazily over Akabane's neck, nuzzles into his cheek. Then he lifts a hand and waves to the room at large, wedding ring catching the light. 

"What?" says Akabane's friend and colleague, Yuzuki.

"What?" says Asano's friend and regional director, Tahoko.

\--

Click, goes the (paparazzi) camera shutter.

\--

"The press is accusing us of having sordid love affairs."

Karma rubs his eyes. It's too early in the morning for this. Gakushuu, despite late nights, has a predisposed clock to wake up naturally at 7 every morning, and part of that routine is to check his phone for the news. And yes, there are a lot of news.

It proves to be troublesome on the one day a week Karma gets to sleep in. He isn't doing much sleeping, however. His phone has already woken him up thrice (and Gakushuu gets to somehow sleep through it, lucky.) "Didn't we basically admit we were married to each other?"

Gakushuu rolls his eyes. "Like they'll pass up the opportunity for a sensational headline."

"I don't know, us being actually married is sensational enough to me," Karma yawns.

"Aww," Gakushuu says. "Ow."

"This is what you get for drinking so much," Karma gripes, with no small amount of affection. He plucks the phone from Gakushuu's hands. "What got into you anyways?"

"Don't know," Gakushuu mumbles miserably.

Karma reaches a hand over and rubs gently at Gakushuu’s head. "Now you can't say I'm the impulsive one out of the both of us," he says. "We have to figure this press mess out before your shares drop. By the way your dad, Nagisa and Ren called earlier to laugh at us."

"Ngh," Gakushuu says.

"Go back to sleep," Karma says. "You can be a little late today."

\--

Gakushuu's secretary Emiko is no less forgiving than the press, not after a morning of conflict diffusion and fielding phone calls. 

She knows, of course she knows, when she’s in charge of all of CEO Asano’s affairs, inclusive of the offhand times Gakushuu asked her to make a reservation for a date night with the hubby. Which makes her perfect authority to tell all the shareholders that no, a scandal or a divorce is not in the works for their CEO. 

In the end, press management - or in whichever way you look at it, _dis_ -management - is a picture posted on Asano Gakushuu's personal social media account. Sunlight filtering in through the windows, the couple on the bed, Akabane's grinning face, Asano's head buried in his shoulder, Her Majesty The Queen Royal Fluffbutt Pumpernickel (their cat, Pumpkin) squished between them. The caption reads, "Hangover Sundays!" 

Gakushuu's phone buzzes. Oops, it's Emiko.

Karma answers it, then winces as Emiko unleashes upon him a barrage well-deserved. It's a PR disaster. Gakushuu pretends to keep snoozing away.

"Sorry Emi," Karma says. "Shhhh. Gakushuu is pretending to be asleep."

In his hazy pretend-sleep daze, Gakushuu smacks Karma on the chest.

\--

"We've been married for three years!" Karma gleefully hollers.

Gakushuu yanks his head back into their car window.

\--

I didn’t realize it was bring your husband to work day.”

“Neither did I,” says Gakushuu, who’s not quite sure why Karma followed him all the way to the office (because it’s a Sunday, so it’s not a work day for him, and heck if he sits quietly at home while Gakushuu gets to be caught in all the fun stuff (chaos) at work without him.) Gakushuu meets Emiko’s unimpressed gaze. There’s a clipboard in her hands.

“I’ll give you such a nice bonus this year.”

“This is a _family brand_ , Asano-Akabane,” she stresses. “We cannot have the public thinking that the name and face of this company is out having illicit affairs-”

Gakushuu opens his mouth, “a press conference-” 

“We are the very definition of a family brand,” Karma interrupts, swinging an arm around (jabbing his husband in the face with a hand) Gakushuu’s neck and pulls him into an affectionate headlock, the latter letting out a disgruntled squeak. “We are high-school sweethearts. We have a cat together. We spend Christmas together-”

“-that’s your birthday-”

“-and New Year’s together-”

“-that’s my birthday-”

“-April fools-"

"-that's our anniversary-"

"I thought your wedding anniversary was in August."

"It is." Karma clarifies, "April is our get-together anniversary. Our first date."

Emiko raises an eyebrow. "You two had your first date on April Fools?" How did that happen, indeed. "You must have done the asking, Karma."

“Of course,” Karma says, and he looks unabashedly smug about it as well. “Do you think your boss seems like one of those people into April Fools pranks like that? I asked him out as a joke, you see, but I don’t think he got the memo that it was April first, waiting for me so earnestly that I felt bad and took pity on- oof!”

Gakushuu elbows him in the ribs. “If I said no, he could play it off to save his embarrassment and his sorry little heart.”

“Cold, honey. Cold.”

\--

"LGBT friendly..." Gakushuu stares at the proposals (Marketing sure is efficient), then at Karma, gleefully picking through them. 

"Yes," Karma says empathically. "Publicity. Let's go make out at the lobby."

"Wh-"

\--

"You know what's the best part about all of this?"

"Aside from your lack of privacy forever and the stocks going up for some reason?"

"I get to hold your hand in public."

\--

("You asked me out as a joke."

"Uh...well actually-"

"So I said yes as a joke."

"Oh."

"..."

"..."

"This is ridiculous. Let's just go already."

"Go? Oh, oh!")


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Way more self-indulgent fluff.  
> I actually wrote half of this chapter a while back. It was supposed to be for one of the Karushuu week prompts, but halfway through I decided, nah.  
> And now I found context to re-use it in, so it's a quick one this time, I just threw the chapter together.

**April Second**

"You know," Karma says. "A triangle is a very stable construction."

Gakushuu looks up from his work. "Is this your way of asking if we can get the cat that you've been stopping by at the shelter after work to stare at for the last 3 weeks?" 

"How did- yeah, okay, you got me. How would you rate my hook? Did it catch you line and sinker?" 

Gakushuu shrugs. "Sure." 

"Great," Karma says. He pulls out his laptop. "Here is my proposal." 

"You made a PowerPoint?" 

"Shush. Welcome to Karma Akabane's presentation on why Gakushuu Asano should say yes to adopting a cat."

Karma clicks a button, and the next slide is a table of contents. "First I'll give you a brief overview of the cat itself. Then I'll discuss the pros and cons of adoption - and trust me, it's more pros than cons. Then we'll move on to future measures we will take to accommodate the cat, which I have extrapolated and concluded are well within our means And finally, you say yes."

Gakushuu rests his cheek on his hand, smiling. 

Click. "First section. This is Pumpkin! She is a five year old, she's absolutely  _ adorable _ , and she is just the cutest thing in the world. She's very affectionate and loves cuddles - trust me, I know, she has all her vaccinations and she's sterilized, so we don't have to worry about that! Oh, and she also has three legs, but that's not important. What's important is how cute she looks. She looks cute, right?"

Pumpkin, aptly named for her ginger fur, is staring into the camera with bright eyes. The photograph is blurry around the edges like it's photographer was vibrating with excitement. 

"Aww, you find her cute too," Karma coos. 

Gakushuu looks at him. "Sure," he agrees. 

"Alright, next." Click. "The pros! First, you get to see that cute cute face every day. Second, cats have been scientifically proven to raise one’s standards of living by a million percent.”

“Which science journal did you get that from?”

“Uh…” Karma taps his chin. “Nature.”

The both of them read Nature cover to cover every week. Karma is grinning expectantly at Gakushuu.

"I must have missed that article," Gakushuu says.

“You did," Karma says. "What a shame, we spend money on that subscription, Gakushuu. You should read through it again," click, “the cons are… there are none.”

“I’m sure.”

“Glad you agree.” Click. “So, what’s in store for us if Pumpkin here joins our lives? Conservatively, I’ve done the math, any expenses like her food and toys and vet appointments would cost this much money but with both our wonderful monthly incomes, it’d barely make a dent! She’s an indoor cat, so our apartment can definitely accommodate her. We can put a cat tree in that space in the hallway with that ugly picture you insisted on buying at that charity action-”

“It’s fine art.”

“Honey, it’s hideous. If Pumpkin rips it apart I’ll consider that a win. Actually, let me pencil it under the pros…”

Gakushuu rolls his eyes.

Karma continues. “I have a nine to five, a pretty regular schedule. Your schedule, albeit less standardized than mine, is still pretty good. If we have to both be out of the country at the same time, we can get a sitter or ask our friends to catwatch for us, but our coinciding trips only happen once a year, twice at the most.”

“A convincing argument,” Gakushuu muses out loud, and Karma beams at him. 

Click. “Alright, so I’m done! Any questions or objections, darling?”

“Yes,” Gakushuu says, leaning back with a smile on his face. “When do I get to meet her?”

Karma throws his hands around Gakushuu's neck, grinning. “Come with me tomorrow!” And then flips Gakushuu over.

They roll over the side of the couch and hit the table on the way down. 

"Ow. I changed my mind. One cat is enough for me. I don't need any more broken furniture."

"Aww," Karma says. He nuzzles Gakushuu's cheek. "Purr."

"Why are your teeth so sharp?"

"Me-ow."

"Ow!"

"Hehe."

They lie down there for a bit, two grown men on the floor under the coffee table.

"Do you think," Karma says suddenly, "I can train her to carry our rings down the aisle?"

Gakushuu cracks one eye open to stare at him. "If anything happens to them, you're a dead man."

"I'm going to quit my job and become a cat trainer."

"Maybe you can train her to pick up all your socks."

"Barely into the family and you're already making her work? Harsh."

"Well, she's got to earn her keep."

"Who knows, maybe she'll be a little genius and learn how to do laundry." Karma pats Gakushuu's head. Odd, because they're still lying on their sides. "She takes after you! How odd would it be to have two little Gakushuus running about?"

The line in Gakushuu's head is cheesy but he says it anyways. "She has your eyes."

"Aw, so she does!" Karma says, grinning, like he's trying to act surprised but he's too proud of himself to do so. "Ginger fur and amber eyes? What a coincidence. She's our baby now."  


Gakushuu sighs. It's a good sigh. When did he get so content? "I'm glad we got such a comfortable rug to lie on."

Karma snickers.

\--

"Hey."

"What?"

"What do you think would happen if we call your dad and tell him that we're having a baby?"

"Do it."

**"I can't believe we got her a perfectly good cat tree and she just lies on the cabinet next to it."**

**"Like how we have a perfectly nice couch and we always end up beside it instead of sitting on it?"**

**"I feel like there's a lesson in there somewhere."**

**"Couches are a waste of money. We should have just sat on the box the TV came in."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triangle = three points
> 
> I want to write about their first date - yes, the April Fools one. That would be fun. Two tsunderes interacting.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Bangs fist on table)  
> KARUSHUU KARUSHUU KARUSHUU

**"So how exactly did two Tsunderes get together?"**

Karma is fearless. He is confident. He is strong and brave and resilient. He stares at the devil in the eyes and dares him to say a word.

Asano stares back. 

"A date."

Karma is chill. He is cool. He does not slip up. He is in control of the situation. He lifts his chin and tilts his head and smirks, and says "what, you don't want to go on a date with me?"

Then he sees his reflection in the mirror. His face is so red it's barely distinguishable from the blob of color that is his hair. He looks constipated.

Asano stares more, and then - dear gods - his expression melds into something more thoughtful. This is the face Asano makes when he rejects his advances (Karma has seen many people corner him in the hallways, he knows the look, contemplative like he's actually thinking hard about their confession, a sprinkle of pink on his cheeks to look like he's flattered, an apologetic tilt of his head as he rejects-

"Sure."

Huh?

"Huh?" says Karma.

\--

"Huh?" says 2-A.

2-A watched - two minutes ago, after the bell rang to signal the end of class, and their teacher had hurried out eager to be rid of them. Akabane gets up from his seat at the back of class, and everybody watches him, because he's put two thumbtacks on seats today and it's just self-preserving, really, to keep your eye on danger. 

So Akabane gets up from his seat, and 2-A watches as he floats over to Asano, his desk smack dab middle of the classroom, providing a 360 degree view of the spectacle that is about to happen.

Asano looks wary, he has every right to be. 

Then Akabane says, "let's go on a date."

Asano says, "Sure."

"UM," Seo says loudly, glaring at Akabane as he does so. "Asano, do you know what day it is?"

"Of course," Asano says smoothly, "it's April first."

Sakakibara opens his mouth and then closes it again.

"What he means to say," Araki cuts in then, "is remember when Seo opened the door today and got dunked with a bucket of water?" 

Asano tilts his head. "That was very amusing."

Koyama splutters, "I mean, it was, but-"

"Listen, will all of you just butt out?" Akabane snaps. He has his arms crossed, and he's tapping his foot irritably.

Seo (changed shirt and all) bristles. "You-"

"It's fine," Asano says, his voice slicing through the conversation. "We'll go on a date." 

And then his gaze flicks to Karma, who (already looking like a tomato) somehow manages the impossible feat of turning even redder.

Asano hums, satisfied with the conflict diffusion, and sashays out of class. There's a half hour window before the next class starts, he's likely headed to the cafeteria.

Nobody else moves. 

2-A continues staring at Akabane.

Sakakibara, eternally the best sort of friend one could have, throws his caution to the wind and walks right up to Akabane. He's ready to defend Asano at all costs, even though he knows Asano can defend himself well. "What the hell was that?!" 

"That's a mean prank to play, Akabane," Anaya says in disapproval. 

"You should never ask someone out as a prank," Chika says.

"Well-" Akabane splutters, "it doesn't matter! All of you are nosy!" And he dashes out of class as well.

"Nosy?" Koyama says. "He asked in the middle of class."

2-A stares at the door, after Akabane's fleeting escape.

"What if he wasn't pulling a prank?" Toyu says.

2-A mulls over this for a while. Akabane did seem particularly bashful about it.

"Well," Sakakibara says, "then I feel sorry for him, because Gakushuu knows what today is, and he was definitely just fucking around when he agreed."

The class nods solemnly at that. Asano can be cruel like that.

\--

They disperse for break, and reconvene before their next class. Akabane is already there, quietly sipping on the strawberry milk he purchases daily from the vending machine. He is oddly subdued.

Everyone checks their chairs. They are thumbtack free. 

Asano walks in. "Hey," he says, calling out from across the room. "Where are we going later?"

He doesn't call out a name, but he's obviously addressing Akabane. Akabane's head snaps up. 

Akabane, who had returned to a healthy color over the recess, turns red again.

Asano wasn't expecting an answer, it seems, because he laughs and goes to his seat. 2-A looks at Akabane in pity, who slides further into his chair and hides his face in his black jacket sleeve. Yes, Asano can be cruel.

\--

The last school bell rings for the day, and no one moves. 

Asano is the one who stands up first, stretching in all fluid grace, and he makes his way over to Karma's table. He leans his hip against it.

"What?" Karma says. 

Asano cocks his head. "What?” He parrots.

Karma scowls, and stands up. This is too ridiculous. He has a tiny bit of height over Asano so he straightens up and lifts his head. “Now you’re just being childish.” 

Then Asano mirrors his scowl, and manages the impressive feat of looking down at someone despite being shorter than them. “I’m glad you agree this sort of behaviour is childish, Akabane. I do hope you haven’t subjected anyone else to this sort of foolish game.”

Is Asano being purposefully obnoxious, or is he just as dense as a bag of bricks? “Don’t worry your little head, I’m not that mean to anyone else.” And then he grabs a pen off his desk and lobs it straight at Ishigura’s head. 

\--

Ishigura, who is not-so-subtly filming, yelps and drops his phone.

Three other people lower theirs. 

The two of them - Asano and Akabane - glare at each other. 

2-A turns to look at Sakakibara.

Sakakibara sighs. “Alright guys, let’s-”

Asano interrupts, “you asked me out as a joke.” He says so to Akabane. He has his arms crossed, a frown on his face, and he looks…

Akabane’s scowl drops. Now he looks like a deer in headlights. “Uh… well actually-”

“So I said yes as a joke,” Asano says quickly.

“Oh.” 

There’s a long pause, both of them not looking at each other.

Sakakibara resists the urge to facepalm. You can tell by the exasperation of his expression and that he’s really trying not to. Seo, who doesn’t quite have the same level of propriety, generously decides to facepalm in Sakakibara’s stead (he uses two hands).

Ishigura narrows his eyes and makes a risk-calculated decision, and lifts his phone again.

\--

“This is ridiculous,” Gakushuu says. “Let’s just go already.”

Akabane is still staring at him, mouth open. “Go?”

Gakushuu gestures meaningfully to his bag - all packed, slung around his shoulder. 

He steadfastly ignores the rest of class. If he doesn’t acknowledge them, they’ll go away.

“Oh, oh!” Akabane jolts up suddenly. He too is ignoring the rest of 2-A, who are now staring and snickering - nope, no, he’s ignoring them.

Akabane has shoved all his stuff into his bag. “Where are we going?”

Gakushuu is hearing strange noises. Sounds like laughter, but the room is empty. Must be his imagination. “How am I supposed to know? You’re the one who asked me.”

Akabane thinks for a beat, and then throws his bag over his shoulder. “Kay, let’s go.”

Oh look, the door has opened all by itself. What a strange day it is. 

\--

“Did they just… fuckign…” Tanaka peers out the classroom, a hand on the door, after the duo leaves. “Did you all just see the same thing I did?”

Masuda blinks. “They just… went on a date.”

“I can’t believe it,” Saki says. “This is it. The world is ending.”

“The way they did it,” Anaya taps a finger on her chin, “it was… oddly cute?”

“Somebody please tell me we have it all on recording.”

\--

“There better not be anything weird in this,” Gakushuu says. 

“You saw the worker scoop it out from the tub,” Akabane says, having the audacity to sound offended, as if he does not slip wasabi into any of Gakushuu’s unattended food items at any opportunity he gets. 

“If anything, I’m sure you would put in extra special effort today of all days…”

“You think I’ll go through all that effort to contact a cafe hours before to ask them to prepare wasabi ice cream, ask you out on a date in hopes you’ll agree, take you to this specific cafe and subtly manipulate you to choose a green flavor, just so I could put wasabi in your food?”

Gakushuu stares at him. Then he takes the little spoon, scoops up some matcha ice cream, and puts it in his mouth. 

Akabane rolls his eyes. He digs into his own tiny cup - strawberry - and makes a satisfied hum. 

\--

“I wonder how matcha and strawberry would taste when mixed together.”

“Well, I assume it would taste like matcha and strawberry.”

“As distinct flavors, yes. But surely when fully integrated, there would be a unique flavor somewhere in between.”

“If you’re so interested, you can simply mix the two and test it out.”

“Ah, does that mean you’ll be willing to share a little scoop from your ice cream?”

“Just a little bit.”

“Now how will we go about the best way of mixing it?”

“Just add a bit of the matcha to your cup.”

“But then we will have a single drop of matcha in an ocean of strawberry. And the reverse would produce the same result.”

“Mix the same amount at the same time.”

“Great idea. Perhaps I could mix one spoon each.”

“Ah, but you won’t have a separate cup for it.”

“You’re right. We could request for a third cup, but that’s a bit wasteful, don’t you think?”

“You should just put both flavors in your mouth at the same time.” 

“Perhaps we should both do that.”

“Perhaps you’re right. And it’s only fair we do it at the same time, right? After all, we should keep all other experimental variants constant.”

“Of course. Every second that passes means the ice cream melts a little bit more, which would confound the taste. It’s only fair that the mixing of the flavors should happen at the exact same time.’

“Yes, but we only have two spoons. We should keep one for each flavor, we don’t want any mixing of the flavors to happen prematurely.”

“Asking for more spoons would be wasteful.”

“And waiting for the other party to take their bite before passing the spoons would put us at different starting points.”

“Mm. So clearly-”

“-Obviously-”

“-our only option is to take a bite of ice cream each and make out.”

“I mean, yeah. We’ve considered every other option.”

“Mhm. What a shame this is the only feasible one.”

“How unfortunate.”

\--

“I seemed to have, ah, forgotten to catalogue the taste.”

“What a shame. It must have slipped my mind too.”

“Looks like we have to repeat the experiment.”

“Until we get a conclusive result.”

“And then repeat it again because we have to cross-check that results.”

“Mm, science.”

**I couldn't decide who should say which line/every other line so I'll let you, my lovely audience, decide**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please... fic content... I need...

**Author's Note:**

> This month is just looking out to be a stretch for me, but I haven't forgotten about you all <3 I do have some longer fics planned out that I would start on once I get the time. So many ideas in my head. I still have contrapositive to work on, oops!  
> See everyone soon!  
> (Once again vanishes into the void)

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [I drew Pumpkin!](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27619055) by [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account)




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